A neonatal nurse accused of murdering seven babies left a handwritten note that read “I am evil. I did this”.

On day four of Lucy Letby’s trial at Manchester crown court, the prosecutor Nick Johnson KC told jurors about a series of notes that the police found.

On one green Post-it note, which was shown to the court, she had written: “I don’t deserve to live. I killed them on purpose because I’m not good enough to care for them.”

She also wrote: “I am a horrible evil person” and: “I AM EVIL I DID THIS”.

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Letby, 32, from Hereford, is accused of murdering seven babies and attempting to murder ten others at the Countess of Chester Hospital. She denies all the charges.

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Her defence barrister said she was “adamant” she had not harmed any children and said the note was written by an “anguished woman in despair” who was realising the enormity of what is facing her. It said that the note was written when Letby was facing disciplinary proceedings at work.

A line in the note, which was shown to the court, said Letby has an “overwhelming fear… I’ll never have children or marry… I will never know what it’s like to have a family… despair.”

Ben Myers KC, defending Letby, said that the note “does not accurately reflect” what had happened, but was written by Letby as she “poured her feelings onto paper as a way of coping”.

He blamed “inadequate” standards of care at the Countess of Chester Hospital and said at least one of the deaths was an “inevitable” outcome given the child’s prematurity.

In the case of Child J, who was born with a perforated and necrotic bowel, he said that the hospital was “well out of its depth” when it came to treating the infant.

He concluded his opening statement by saying: “This whole case is a complex case, it is not straightforward. And in that dock is a young woman who says this is not her fault.”

The children and their families are not being named by the media and are referred as Children A to Q.

The trial continues.

Read more:
Lucy Letby trial: Day three

Child P, was one of two triplets the prosecution claims were killed by Letby. Their brother survived because he was in another room.

A day after Child P died, Child Q was attacked by Letby, the prosecution said.

Mr Johnson said Letby falsified medical records to give herself an alibi at the time of Child Q’s sudden collapse.

Apart from three days the following week, this was to be the last time Letby would work at the neonatal unit at the Countess of Chester Hospital.

Doctors grew suspicious about ‘cold-blooded’ Letby

“Cold-blooded” Letby tried to kill one “resilient” girl four times “before succeeding”, the court was told.

The nurse was also questioned by police about why she had sent a sympathy card to the baby’s parents.

By April 2016, consultants at the hospital had grown suspicious of Letby – moving her off night shifts because of concerns about the “correlation between her presence and unexpected deaths/life-threatening episodes”.

One consultant began to feel “uncomfortable” when he realised Letby was alone with a child. When he walked into the room, he noted that the infant’s breathing tube was dislodged.

“We alleged she was trying to kill Child K when the paediatric consultant walked in on her,” Mr Johnson told the court.

The trial continues.